On this joyous occasion!

Can anyone guess what today is? The end of all creative writing! No more sentence openers, dress-ups, decoration, or anything of the like! Party! Party! Happy Happy day! I'm so happy that it is time for the spider can-can!




!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Party time! Anyway, time for more serious matters ^_^. Last week I took a trip to Madison Wisconsin! Actually it wasn't that exciting, but the reason I went was because some of my family entered into a Tae Kwon Do tournament! yay! So my Dad got 1st in sparring 3rd in forms, Lilly got 1st in sparring 3rd in forms, and Isaac got 3rd in sparring and 4th in forms. Yay! Baby universe from "We love Katamari" (one of the best video games in existence) is playing to celebrate the end of writing! Anyway, Lilly and my Mom and Dad are all testing for their black belts at the end of may. I MIGHT test in October for mine, Maybe..... with a capital M! Anyway, In Wisconsin, they like cheese, no, they YYY with capital HEARTS.
Every exit you will see a large sign that says "Cheese" and under it will say food. See I thought cheese was a food, not a national symbol. They have cheesehauses (actual spelling)[must be Scandinavian]. They also have separate recycling containers for green glass, white glass, yellow glass, tin, aluminum, cans, plastic and much more. Interesting.........

Anyway my 16th Birthday is in 8 days! yay! This is supposedly the year I turn evil. Like when I turned 15, or 13. :P now I will write a little(cliche, wordy and boring) story to celebrate no more writing ^_^

Once upon a time, there was a bad rabbit ; a good rabbit, and A LOT of carrots, these were crunchy carroty celebrity chowdery cowering cassidy carrots, they were preety.... on day a turkey carrying a large fortune cookie ate all the carrots! ^_^ The End!
Good night Minneapolis! and have a merry Christmas!

Good Afternoon!

Good Afternoon everyone! The sun is shining and it is cold outside! Well it isn't cold, but if you lived in Florida it would be cold. If you haven't noticed, I kinda have had a countdown for a certain class to be over. One! One! One! ONE! ONE! ONE! ONE! ONE! ONE! more creative writing class! The last class should be fun, But it will be nice for this class to get over as it will free up about 2-4 hours per week of my free time, which shrinks more and more the older I get. I wish I could just freeze my self at fifteen more years.

You may have noticed that my last post was boring and uncolorful. well, it was. and you all will have to live with it. Anyway kids, It time for everyone's favorite part of the blog. The new Features!

^_^ New Features!!!!!!! ^_^

The new feature of todays blog is................. A new link! woohhh! yay! A new link will be on the fabulous Guyz with skillz sidebar! Say it Right Wing. The only place to get the newest and hottest right wing apparel! If it's not right it's wrong!

Time for the Spider can-can dance!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The spiders say it is P.C. Time! So let's all think Politically Correct Thoughts but not tell anybody what they are because we might offend somebody. Wait.... I just told you to think politically correct thoughts. who am I to tell you to do anything. But if I can't tell you how to think. How will we become a perfect feminized anti-semetic world? I'll call all of you crazy freedom lovers Intolerant and scream and cry until you give in to me because I'm a whiny five year old who can't make a arguement.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How sad. The spiders have stopped dancing. :( Anyway, forget what I said about the sun shining. It's raining right now. :) It was perfect weather for running today! Running is good for your Cardio-Vascular system. Thought everyone's life could be brightened by that fact. Time for todays random fortune/advice/boring statement/ ect.

Beware of Chickens that go to North Carolina for waffles. (^)_(^) Hey look, My happy face is wearing glasses. :P

Good night San Diego!

P.S. The sun just came out. :P

My fat cat......

I lost my cat last Friday :(, My typical morning with my cat is, I get up at 7:00 and my cat jumps out of my bed and starts meowing incessantly until I trudge over to his food bowl and pour the worlds smelliest food, (second only to fish food) into his bowl. You see, he lives for his food. Every twelve hours at 7:00 A.m and P.M. Harley gets fed, his food is his favorite thing in the world. Well that morning, he wasn't in my bed, weird, I called "Time fore breakfast Harley!"
That could summon him from France. He didn't come. My mom noticed that part of the screen in our living room window was open. So Isaac took Winnie(our dog) to see if she could find Harley. She found him under a piece of cardboard right next to our house. Harley was very happy to be home:) he especially loved his late breakfast. Another round of sickness is attcking my family. I was the only person who didn't get sick last time. It now has hit my mom, Lilly, Geneva, and now Isaac. I hope I don't get sick now..... Only two more un creative writing classes left! My birthday is in two 1/2 weeks. yay! I have to make a birthday list though.... I'm terrible at those. Anyway, Good night Omaha!

Yay!

With great resolve I have resolved to post a serious Blog today. As if that would ever happen! Anyway, My birthday will be early next month, However, unless I learn to merge and stay in my lane when I look at my blind spot, and most importantly, not cut in front of people. I will not be acquiring my license. But then it's not too disappointing, I have lots to do. I will be taking my S.A.T. soon, And will get a job soon. This probably is the reason I'm so stressed out. Now that my mushy serious blathering is over. Time for the spider can-can dance!



!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i This special sign means it time for my favorite time of day, Big Font Time! Anyway, I'm very tired, I went to three Tae Kwon Do classes today, an hour each. If you want to be tired and exhausted, join Tae Kwon Do.

I hope you all enjoyed my special farewell concert to my dead fish, We had an amazing turnout of five people! Only three more Creative writing classes left! ^_^

yay! Feel the Disco!

Good Night Madison!

Very Belated B-day! (and blog)

Happy Birthday Isaac!

(late!)

We interrupt this very important blog and your life for this important announcement!Obey the Cheese!

Today we mourn the death of our fish, We have lost the underwater life exhibit at the Threebrothers zoo. Large font time! ^_^ ,We now will hold a short memorial concert for the dead fish. Let's see, Burning heart is playing by Survivor right now,(The "Rocky four" Theme song) Now imagine dolphin's leaping in the air while fish wave their fins in the air) la la la la la........... Isaac says "Mommmmmm! Rexford being weird!" I'm not being weird Isaac, I'm traumatized from the idea of Hillary-Care. Only four more UN-creative writing classes left. ^_^ yay! Prepare for the Spider Can-can dance!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do dah, do dah! Dance with the spiders! But wait we need webs. Now where could they be? @ Tools # Weird picture of freaky guy

Sunglasses!$

Trophy, For best blog of course! ^_^%

Speech bubbles@_@^

Yay!" It's the web of life! the one and only web of life! (Here I am [just when I thought I was over you]) by air supply just got over for the little fishies. Now we just need "I will Survive". Anyway, I'm off to fight the forces of pig-headedness, evil, and disorganization! Goood night Seattle!

The last couple weeks.

Sorry, The past couple weeks have been very hectic. But I'm blogging now! I must satisfy my audience of like four people! So the first course of your delicious dinner is an article I wrote for the "Flash" *sparkle, sparkle*.

My family and I took a trip to visit my Grandparents in South Dakota last Monday. Twenty minutes after we arrived, my Grandmother asked my Mom to call the governor of South Dakota to ask him to sign an Anti-Abortion law. His secretary told my Mom that he had just signed the law. Needless to say, we were all very excited. It took a couple hours for Fox-news to report it though. You’d think that the media would have found out about the law being passed sooner, but they were probably all too busy focusing on the strange revealing dresses worn by all the actresses at the OscarÂ’s. Anyway, enough about the people who are proud to be out-of-touch with us, they get enough attention; See, I have devoted around two sentences about them. Moving On.


So the official, well my official statement, is: On Monday, March 6 2006, the governor of South Dakota signed and passed a law that bans all Abortions in the state of South Dakota. The law even bans abortion of pregnancies caused by incest or rape. It punishes doctors who perform abortions with a fine of $5000 and five years in prison. However it does not punish doctors who accidentally kill or injure a baby while trying to save the Mother. The law also states that the Doctor should take reasonable efforts to preserve the lives of both the mother and child. The law stands in the face of Roe vs. Wade, the nationwide law that gives a constitutional right to abortions. The law will probably go from court to court till it reaches the Supreme Court. It is uncertain if the new justices will uphold this new law or strike it down. They may not even take this case up, but there are nine other states with similar laws in the making, they are bound to pick up at least one of them. This may be the beginning of the every state making its own abortion laws, which might reshape the population in most states. Will Roe vs. Wade be overturned? Only time will tell.

Well, if you haven't fallen asleep yet, I should give you a cookie, fortune cookie with fortune that says "cat ninjas are watching you!" oh wait, I already have!, at least to one person, Another person won a fabulous chocolate cookie from Panera ^_^ Anyway, last week I took a vacation to South Dakota, But I already told you that. Skanky dresses at the oscars! wait, everyone else is talking about that.

Well I just gave you your second course, your next course will be "The chore list" *sparkle , sparkle* For the past couple years, my family has had a list that assigns chores to certain people everyday, well, because my little sisters are growing up, they have to have the harder chores now. See I get hard chores taken away as soon as I don't mind doing them! Anyway, My youngest brother will have it easy for a few years now. I'll have to get a job this summer,unless I fail getting my driver license so I'll need less chores when that happens.

Fourth course! ^_^ I gave an impromptu speech for my Mom and Dad today. My Dad gave me a subject I know nothing about, "Women"Let's's see, they love chocolates, and Moms are the best. Needless to say, I failed miserably, I normally do pretty well on my speeches. I actually know a little more than the average teenage male on women, but I am still really bad. And also, my entire audience is made up out of girls, (At least the commenting ones *cough*) Oh yeah, and chickens! So I will now prepare a article on the importance of girls and chickens in society today. *dons professoror outfit* thez Chicken is very important because with out the chicken, there would be no eggs! and without eggs we could not have the question: what came first, the chicken or the egg? And girls are important, because they are the best at raising chickens! And boys, well they........... eat eggs, so we should elimate them so we can ask what came first the chicken or the egg? And without chickens, Cat ninjas (Patent Pending) would only have dogs to hunt, and dogs are much eaiser to hunt and they would be destroyed. so chickens are important!


Fifth course! ^_^ We had no creative Writing today! I'm so happy ,I'll say it again! We had no creative Writing today! I'm so happy ,I'll say it again! We had no creative Writing today! I'm so happy.^_^ I just wrote my modern version of the Preamble. But I don't feel like sharing right now.


Sixth course! ^_^ I just watched the movie "Yours Mine and Ours". Because of this I now have a new catchphrase. Homes are for Good impressions not for free expression. It makes my house seem quiet and relaxed. ahhhhhhh, anyway the story of My beautiful lighthouse keeper will haunt my memory for eternity!

Anyway, time for dessert. Good night everybody! I'm off to fight the forces of dust dirt and disorganization! or just make Ethan do it.

The boring post

I discovered a comment on one of my posts that I had blogged a few months ago that equated the koran's command to destroy "unbelievers" with God using the Israelites to punish the cananites. Here is a page which rebutts that, needless to say, it isn't my work. http://www.answering-islam.org/Shamoun/q_amalekites.htm
Anyway, nothing much is happening here at my house. It has been relatively quiet here, which is kinda of enjoyable. It is probably because we are all pooped from Tae Kwon Do practice. My brother Isaac is posting something on the other computer, and I need to get off because it is almost time for bed, Good night all! I apologize for no fancy fonts or anything.

Obey the Cheese!

I have no more speeches to write for the rest of the school year! Or so I think.
Yesterday I gave a speech on why you should take a martial art, and today I gave an "oral report" on Benedict Arnold. But no more speeches except for impromptu, which should be fun. We went back into time this morning and pulled out our old cuppachino maker. We went through a couple trials runs and we now have cappacinnos! They don't taste very good yet, but they will once I learn the art of cappachino making. Any way here is the web of lies the ;liberal spiders have weaven:



!



......Hillary Clinton would make a good president.
George bush is stupid! Haliburton! The French are masters of foriegn policy! we must obey their cheese! Haliburton! And more Haliburton!


!


!




Can you splat the spiders?!

!
!

Happy Valentines Day

YYHappy Valentines Day everyone!YY
Isaac got his braces on today. He is in a lot of pain right now. I feel really sorry for him, so I won't pick on him in this blog. Good thing I still have Ethan to pick on. I was going to give a speech today, But it was postponed, ^_^ Yay for me! One more week to prepare. It turned out that I have no special poultry fan base :( Oh well. But I found my audience LOVES chinese food^_^.

Well last week you saw my amazing scrolling powers. and a couple months ago you saw my magical symbols. Well time to see Rexfords Amazing scrolling symbols!

(z
Why don't people like me?

! "
What's the difference between spiders and liberals?
Spiders weave webs of silk. Liberals weave webs of lies ^_^
l
How did this ninja star get here?

I hope you enjoyed my beautiful scrolling symbols! ^_^

Have a wonderful valentines day and take your wives out for dinner and a movie with chocolates and flowers^_^ Hint, Hint!

Good Night New York!

You should have come to me!!!

Rexford what are you doing!!!!! Physiatrists don't know anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!(in Chinese accent) you should have come to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
here is right recipe
1 cup of penutbutter
2 tbs sasparilla root
1 old boot
1 tub of sour yogurt
1 marinated cat ninja

Mix together ingrednts and pour into old boot and cook for 3 hours eat 6 times a day

I swore I'd never go to the Psychiatrist!

I went to the Psychiatrist today. I have way too much stress in my life. She said to take a twenty minute run followed by a twenty minute nap and not to let fear of a sixty-two year old dancing cell phone dressed in a puma coat celebrity stop me! Well, I like running and taking naps, but I didn't get anything else. Needless to say, I'll never visit the Psychiatrist again! Anyway there is a exclusive shin-dig with exclusive undisclosed details. Although some rat released the menu! *storms off and grabs cat from shadow* You're fired! *Muhahahahahahahahaha* Anyway, back to exclusive undisclosed details about exclusive and undisclosed things! Anyway, My cat ninjas have gotten a exclusive and undisclosed lead on the identity and location of chick! We now know that Chick does not live in Scotland! It's all coming together now! Anyway did you know that..........................*snore*













*yawn* Where am I? Wow, That nap speech was sure convincing! *snore*......................................












Bow before my amazing scrolling powers!
Ectectera! Ectectera! Ectectera!



^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Bow before my amazing happy faces!
Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha! Good Night Everybody!

A month later.......

It's been a month since my last blog! So, according to Guys with Skillz tradition, it's time for a long post! About a week before my last blog, just a couple days after Christmas, My grandparents came over, My Dad's parents first, then my Mom's parents. The day after my mom's parents came over, I became sick. I was constantly cold, weak, coughing, and could barely sleep. I was like that for about two weeks when my symptoms finally disappeared, All except the coughing. About right after I got better, Every other child became sick with what I had. It first started with a terrible surprise. Lilly woke my dad up at 5:30 A.M. telling him that "Her eyes were going black" My dad took her into the kitchen when she started groping for him saying I can't see. My dad hollered for my Mom who then called 911, While my dad took Lilly onto our sectional, A minute later Lilly regained consciousness so my mom told the person on the phone that they would just take her to the Emergency Room. Lilly then got almost every kind of scan I can think of, most notable of all the CAT scan. CAT! There is no dog scan!^_^; We now interrupt this blog for a important news bulletin Muhahahahahahaha! Now back to your regularly scheduled reading ^_^ It turned out that Lilly had just fainted. Well that was a rip-off! At least Lilly is safe. Now if you haven't heard this story told to you about a hundred times by Lily herself, you will. Just a warning. A week later she got re-checked and the doctor diagnosed her with pneumonia. It turned out, we all had that or a viral infection that would lead to it. I found out is very boring when EVERYONE else is sick. Yet some how the house got messy when all they did was lay around! Well,If you haven't heard that sickness story(Which all of you have)
Here is another one. Wait, all we've done is be sick and things. O.K. We got caught up in school and stuff so life is continuing as normal. Anyway, my cat ninjas(Who provided the necessary materials for Lilly's CAT scan) Have been on sick pay for the last month, so they will begin pinpointing Chick's location and intercepting the fourtune cookie that she decided to sell to a strange german woman named Nina. By the way, my family is now hooked on the show "24". Well we have really slowed down, but we still love it! Anyway, The Steel Chef Ms. Semrad is hosting a really big shindig at a undisclosed location with undisclosed details and every other thing that can be secretive and undisclosed. But just in case any stalkers decide to come, Security is being provided by my fabolous cat ninjas! who,of course, will be hidden. Anyway I'm tired, also I think I will hire someone to convince me to take a nap. -_- Good Afternoon everyone!

Thank you!!!

Xie xie (thank you in Chinese) for waiting so long for wo (me in Chinese) to blog. Wo (you know what that means)have been making frequent trips to China to learn how to cook marinated cat ninjas. As we all know Ricardo is sick which means his cat ninjas are gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and are now marinated in a light tomato sauce). Dog samuri's bark happily.

Happy new year!!! It is now my year!!!! Because it is the year of the dog (it was the monkey last year) and my Chinese zodiac is the dog!! Even though Wo am a chrstian and I do not belive in Chinese zodiac.

Talk about seeker-sensitive!

My mom and I visited a church today, We picked up a burrito for my dad. hehehehe. I have to do creative writing:( We decided to exercise manly dominion and go to my writing teachers house to pick up our homework, I wish we didn't do that so I wouldn't have to do my writing homework:( I think I have the strangest audience of all the blogs in the world. All of the blogs in the world, Mine is the only blog that members of the poultry family read. I like having such a unique audience, But I'll never be able to blog about the wonders of BBQ sauce or how pork is the other white meat. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to suffer. My sickness is almost over. I cough a lot less now, When I laugh maniacally, It's now a coughing laugh! I can finally laugh!*laughs a maniacally coughy laugh* Take that you fancy hen, I laugh at your henness, I will pluck all your feathers and smother you in BBQ sauce then put your cooked body on television for everyone to wish they could eat you! *laugh evilly*
Good night everyone!

"Guy" with skillz?

Hello Everybody! I bet you are wondering about my title, Well the title is "guy"
Because I'm the only guy with blogging skillz! The only posts in the past few months have been from me, The Magnificent Blogger with his very own legion of cat ninjas!*screams of "liar" come from background* Quick, my ninjas, fend off the disgruntled "contributers" while I finish my blog!*hisses and screams continue* Anyway, I'm quite pleased with my large fan base^_^ See the happy face? I have a turkey, a rooster, a chicken, friends of friends, and a Chick-en!^_^ not : ) Don't worry, My cats only eat fish!*stands in front of chicken cat food* Unfoutunatly, I'm still sick,*gasps run through crowd as young ladies, pregnent women, and old men faint* I don't ache as much*roars of applause and cheering flow throughout crowd* But I cough a lot and my throat hurts, *gasps and fainting resume* How is the battle going my ninjas? Good, The "Contributers" (ha, what do they contribute?) are still 5 feet away from my computer! Amyway, My ninjas have been researching the "dude" ,and have calculated his location to be in
France, Minnesota, or in a romote warehouse in Nevada. Further tests are needed to find if "dude has any ties to aliens.
How is the battle going my ninjas? What!?!?!? A plea deal for a fish and a teddy bear?!?!?!?!?!? Shows what cats do. *throws orb at ground as gas fills the air*
*beep* program terminated "REXFORD has left the building.
Good night Everybody!

I don't normally like Complaining

But it's my blog, so I'll complain all I want. It is 1:38 A.M. currently and I can't fall asleep. The only way to prevent coughing is to sit upright and that still can't prevent all the coughing. I donn't mind the coughing Except that ir hurts my throat:( Oh well, Time to continue with my pity party. Hope you all had a merry christmas and a happy new year. BTW I had turkey for christmas. *manical laughter* I'm currently VERY cold, even when I carry two blankets with me:( Anyway My Whining isn't doing anything but boring you all, Promise to blog better next time. *goes off with a futile attempt to go to sleep*

Happy Birthday Danielle!

Yesterday was Danielle's ninth birthday! She went to camp snoopy with lilly and a friend. While they did that, I did my favorite thing to do in the whole world, Shopping!!!!!!!!!!! O.K. Maybe it was kinda boring, But window shopping in America's symbol of imperislistic capitilism is pretty cool, or largest mall, whatever you want to call it. We finally made all the cookies on Christmas eve, all the delicious sugar cookies! They are all so sweet and tasty! Delicious sugar that fules all us! the gold among all the metals of cooking! we salute you Sugar! What happened to my poultry fan club? I was loved by all the chickens!Now they are gone. Oh well. *disco ball floats in the air*
*I will survive starts to play* I will post forever! hahahahahahahahahha. The end
Oh and Cheeseball. If you don't know, don't ask. oh, and new york;)

Merry Christmas!

Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!
My Mom just had her birthday! Happy Birthday! Isaac put up a sign for her sixteenth birthday, hehehehe. I've gone "ice skating" a couple times , I've finally started to actually skate! yay!
We open presents in four more days! All the lovely presents! I will open them all! them all! Muhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! It's been so great not having creative writing! No papers to write! Soon it will be win.......... caution! *You are now entering PC is destroyed mode* Christmas Break! We will bake sugar cookies! Sugar cookies! And more sugar cookies! I will eat all the cookies! all the Cookies! *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant* *rant*
See how I fil my blogs with sublimial messages! Rexford likes sugar cookies! Sugar cookies are good! You will give him sugar cookies!
I saw the chronicals of Narnia! It was great! It didn't stray too far from the book, and had believeable fight scenes without lots of blood and gore! See all the exclaimation points! I'm overly excited for no reason! I nneeed coffeeee! I have to go to bed soon! good night everyone!

Myth becomes legend

Legend becomes history blah blah blah. You all are in for treat today folks^_^
You get a history lesson today XD BTW I get CHICKEN stir-fry tomorrow^_^ First I slice all the fat off the CHICKEN and slice it into strips, then my mom stir-fries it with vegetables and an Asian sauce. Delicious ^_^ Did I mention my favorite food is CHICKEN scollopini, First we wrap the chicken in plastic wrap then we pound it mercilessly with a meat tenderizer*maniacal laughter* Then we add all the other ingredients.
I just spent two hours building a snow fort. It is approximately five feet high and will soon expand to 2/3 the width of my backyard, It will be very long! ^_^ Speech and creative writing (the class from which the previous story had came and bored you all^_^) are at Christmas break! (Sorry but Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!Christmas!) Heheheheheh^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^ Wow! I have many faces!^_^_^
I'm off the topic now. There are no more silly things to say or write for weeks! (why do I even blog?) Anyway kids, It time for a history lesson!

Once upon a time in a not-so-far-away-land-that-liked-stories-with-cliche-beginnings
A mysterious man came to the not-so-far-away-land-that-liked-stories-with-cliche-beginnings
dressed in a black coat speaking words of wisdom. He especially appeared at one girl's house screaming words of wisdom. All the townspeople wondered about his identity. One day a wood nymph held a friend of the mysterious man hostage. The friend spilled everything! About his identity! about how terrible his cranberry sauce was, about how the nasty spill on the living room carpet! The wood nymph headed toward the village to reveal the identity of the mysterious man
The wood nymph first baked a fortune cookie that contained the identity of the man and then set a plan to drop it off at a Chinese restaurant for someone to find, therefore keeping her identity a secret. She forgot the friend! He had returned to the mysterious man, who then decided to track the wood nymph and turn her into a turkey! I could bore you with the details but the mysterious man turned the nymph into a turkey.The Turkey still lives to this day trying to get someone to open her fortune cookie, But she must always dress like a chicken during the feast of thanksgiving for fear of being eaten!
Thank you and good night!

Rejected!

Here is paper for my creative writing class that was rejected my my editors! Rejected!
sorry, it never made it past the rough draft stage so all the markings are still on it.

Who Are the Regulars?

1775, Lexington Mississippi, I had just finished my secret supper of smelly fish

when I realized that my pets John, Sarah, and their two sons would feed me my regular diet kitty food

#6 in five minutes. Five minutes to eat! I thought I would die if I had to wait five more seconds!

#3 Of course you want to hear about my owners don't you. Secretly I would only talk about myself

Harley the most magnificent, majestic, mouse-phobic cat you'll ever lay eyes on,

but the dogs have a fish bone at my back and will drive it in if I speak about myself. My owners are

VERY opinionated farmers. They think that King George, who exports excellent fish, ADJ W/W

has absolutely no right to tax them. Personally I don't care as long as he doesn't tax the fish.

But you know the proverb don't chomp the hand that pets and feeds you disgusting diet food. Verb

They think that they have the right to fight and defend themselves, And to think they even brought up the

#2 atrocious idea of declawing me. UGHH! Concerning their firepower, I've noticed them smuggling

ammo and guns into a secret location, No! Not in Nevada you stupid dog, in Concord. I hope they smuggle

some of that cod they received yesterday.

A couple days later Kowalski the Penguin, who is the only bird I can stand being around, informed W/W

me that the British were planning to seize the ammo and guns at the secret location at Concord

I mean "Area 52". Kowalski sent his extremely Mafia like bands of penguin spies. -LY ADJ

#6 #3 Haven't you ever seen Madagascar? Suddenly, one night I heard a knock knock on my

Pet's door. A large man called Paul Revere was yelling "The Regulars are com...". The Regulars are Verb

com!?!?!?!?!?!?! what does com mean? It sounds like one of those words my English teacher told me NEVER

to say! And what are Regulars? Are they like fish? Or had the plague struck again with those horrid mice?

I knew I had to do something, it had to be drastic, I decided to make Kowalski send out a secret squadron of

#2 super penguins. During my genius daydreaming I was rudely awakened by One of Kowalski sticky notes

that flew onto my face, it read "At Antarctica for rest of life" I threw it away in disgust ,when suddenly, my

trash can burst into flames. Another note flew down and hit my tail, it read" You didn't see anything".

I saw John grab his coat and run to "Area 52". Being that John was the only person who liked or

remembered to feed me, and because my penguin squads were out of town permanently. I decide that I would

have to take care of the "Regulars", who ever they were, by myself.


After A long practice session of kitty fu and donning a uncomfortably tight ninja suit. Verb , ly, ADJ

I armed myself with a pop gun and gobbled up a quick catch of cod. Then I decided to take a VERY LONG

walk to Area 52. I used all the secret pathways and quickly passed the Regulars, who ever they are. W/W

#3 Fortunately I soon found "Area 52" and nestled myself on a fence, placed my pop gun in comfortable

position, and waited for the "Regulars" and I think you know we don't know who they are.

#2 During the terrible wait I spied a juicy piece of trout, that the butcher had dropped, lying on the ground.

Dramatically the "Regulars" Marched into the town then they stopped in front of our camp.

The leader started blathering on how we must obey England and what-not, when with his final

yell he stamped his foot on the trout I had been eyeing! Disgusted and forgetting I had a play gun

#6 I shot at the Leader. Complete Horror happened next! Eight of my friends pets were dead. I

screeched and hissed as loud as I could to get everyone's pets to attack the soldiers. I mean, it was

fish on the line here. It worked! Even more Minute men came to the rescue and drove those fish stomping

"Regulars" Back to England! I guess we know who the "Regulars" are now, Evil Fish haters!
Hope you enjoyed it! ^_^, not :) ^_^ is so much better ^_^!