Here is paper for my creative writing class that was rejected my my editors! Rejected!
sorry, it never made it past the rough draft stage so all the markings are still on it.
Who Are the Regulars?
1775, Lexington Mississippi, I had just finished my secret supper of smelly fish
when I realized that my pets John, Sarah, and their two sons would feed me my regular diet kitty food
#6 in five minutes. Five minutes to eat! I thought I would die if I had to wait five more seconds!
#3 Of course you want to hear about my owners don't you. Secretly I would only talk about myself
Harley the most magnificent, majestic, mouse-phobic cat you'll ever lay eyes on,
but the dogs have a fish bone at my back and will drive it in if I speak about myself. My owners are
VERY opinionated farmers. They think that King George, who exports excellent fish, ADJ W/W
has absolutely no right to tax them. Personally I don't care as long as he doesn't tax the fish.
But you know the proverb don't chomp the hand that pets and feeds you disgusting diet food. Verb
They think that they have the right to fight and defend themselves, And to think they even brought up the
#2 atrocious idea of declawing me. UGHH! Concerning their firepower, I've noticed them smuggling
ammo and guns into a secret location, No! Not in Nevada you stupid dog, in Concord. I hope they smuggle
some of that cod they received yesterday.
A couple days later Kowalski the Penguin, who is the only bird I can stand being around, informed W/W
me that the British were planning to seize the ammo and guns at the secret location at Concord
I mean "Area 52". Kowalski sent his extremely Mafia like bands of penguin spies. -LY ADJ
#6 #3 Haven't you ever seen Madagascar? Suddenly, one night I heard a knock knock on my
Pet's door. A large man called Paul Revere was yelling "The Regulars are com...". The Regulars are Verb
com!?!?!?!?!?!?! what does com mean? It sounds like one of those words my English teacher told me NEVER
to say! And what are Regulars? Are they like fish? Or had the plague struck again with those horrid mice?
I knew I had to do something, it had to be drastic, I decided to make Kowalski send out a secret squadron of
#2 super penguins. During my genius daydreaming I was rudely awakened by One of Kowalski sticky notes
that flew onto my face, it read "At Antarctica for rest of life" I threw it away in disgust ,when suddenly, my
trash can burst into flames. Another note flew down and hit my tail, it read" You didn't see anything".
I saw John grab his coat and run to "Area 52". Being that John was the only person who liked or
remembered to feed me, and because my penguin squads were out of town permanently. I decide that I would
have to take care of the "Regulars", who ever they were, by myself.
After A long practice session of kitty fu and donning a uncomfortably tight ninja suit. Verb , ly, ADJ
I armed myself with a pop gun and gobbled up a quick catch of cod. Then I decided to take a VERY LONG
walk to Area 52. I used all the secret pathways and quickly passed the Regulars, who ever they are. W/W
#3 Fortunately I soon found "Area 52" and nestled myself on a fence, placed my pop gun in comfortable
position, and waited for the "Regulars" and I think you know we don't know who they are.
#2 During the terrible wait I spied a juicy piece of trout, that the butcher had dropped, lying on the ground.
Dramatically the "Regulars" Marched into the town then they stopped in front of our camp.
The leader started blathering on how we must obey England and what-not, when with his final
yell he stamped his foot on the trout I had been eyeing! Disgusted and forgetting I had a play gun
#6 I shot at the Leader. Complete Horror happened next! Eight of my friends pets were dead. I
screeched and hissed as loud as I could to get everyone's pets to attack the soldiers. I mean, it was
fish on the line here. It worked! Even more Minute men came to the rescue and drove those fish stomping
"Regulars" Back to England! I guess we know who the "Regulars" are now, Evil Fish haters!
Hope you enjoyed it! ^_^, not :) ^_^ is so much better ^_^!
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5 comments:
Dude, you have way to much time on your hands-how long did that take you?
I know who dude is and you don't ^_^ It was a paper for school.
I normally don't time myself while i'm writing my papers. I'll do it next time master. I mean CHICK-EN.
I'm not a Chicken!!! OH, and I know who dude is too!!
Maybe you are a turkey who dressed up as a CHICK-EN to hide from the thanksgiving feast^_^ :) is soooo over rated ^_^
How many questions to reveal Dude's identity?
<_<
>_>
^_^
The world may never know!
^_~ although there is a rumor you can find it in a fortune cookie handed by a turkey dressed like a chicken..................... Wow, I could go on the chicken jokes forever, but I'm too chicken to keep on slicing the turkey.
hahahaha *rotten tomatoes and leftover turkey is hurled at me*
Thank you and Good Night!
Not funny - and yes I am a fortune cookie that may just bring you good luck, but I only tell people who make good kitchen jokes the identity of the dude.
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